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The System of Success

Success is the result of habits. No one achieved lasting, sustainable success through luck or “just being good at it”. The success came from deliberate, consistent, and habitual action.

So often we hear so much about how important it is to be motivated. We search endlessly for inspiration. We gauge our ability to do good work by how much we enjoy it, by how much we’re able to get into a flow while working. I’ve done the same myself my whole life, and it’s overrated.

How do the most successful people achieve their goals and missions in life? By working on the most important things first.

In the past, I’ve become distracted by things that didn’t matter as much. I might log into email, looking at and reading emails for hours without sending any. I might sit down to study, and remember something I had to do on facebook. I’d sit down to write a blog post, and then spend my time browsing other peoples’ blogs.

The thing that helped me change my habits was adopting a system to focus my time. I simply set a certain amount of time for certain actions, and quit when the time was up, regardless of whether I finished or not. I made sure that even if I started late I respected my schedule and took the breaks I set for myself.

What’s astonishing is that our work shrinks or expands to how much time we have to do it. 4 hour reading were finished in 2 hours. I finished a 6 page paper in 1 hour. I emailed 8 people in 20 minutes. Even more important, I had time to rest and replenish, got more sleep, and was able to spend time with my friends or calling my family guilt-free.

It’s an ongoing process. One of the biggest things I learned is that I must respect my schedule and not change it once set, even if I wake up late and miss my first chunk of work.

Nature is filled with systems, like this bee collecting pollen.

It might sound daunting, but every time we put our keys on a key rack at home, we’re utilizing a system. It allows us to focus on more important things without having to worry about looking around for our keys every time we need them. I’d advocate all of us to begin consciously integrating more systems into our lives so we can achieve the success we seek and lived the lives we dreamed.

So, what’s one way you can introduce a system into your own life?

Write About it

I’m currently working on writing up some history to the #Ipledgeorange movement, but get caught up reading other blog posts and articles about the situation.

This brings up a side point though. If there’s something you know little about but want to get to know more, write about it. You’ll learn, make mistakes, have insights, and with due time and God’s grace you’ll become more versed in whatever it is you want to write about.

Write on. Write on for justice, write on for peace, write on for love. Write on.

Celebration of Life

I changed my ticket back to school, and instead went home to Seattle. The family spent time together, as hundreds of people visited my mamaji’s house over the next few days. Cousins flew in from as far as Budapest to be together. We got a chance to remember what’s most important in our lives. We got a chance to spend quality time with those we love and care for most.

The funeral took place on Saturday. Not able to fit inside, dozens of people spilled out into the parking lot. The funeral home was packed, with hardly enough room to stand.

On Sunday, we all enjoyed a celebration of life ceremony, telling stories and reflecting on the blessing of spending time with mamaji. My cousin, his eldest son, started everyone off with pictures and stories of mamaji. He was truly a remarkable man, my cousin explained. He worked double shifts often, and took triple shifts when he could. During the ceremony, my cousin half-joked that we never knew when he slept. Still, none of us ever heard him complain.

A cousin of mine from LA also shared some words and some stories. She visited him in Seattle 3 weeks ago with her daughter. Mamaji could barely contain his excitement, she explained. He came home from completing a night shift while she got ready to go to his son’s dentistry office for a checkup.  She fully expected him to get some rest, but after a two hour nap she found him downstairs, dressed and ready to go. He spent the day with them, taking care of her young 2 year old daughter. He laughed and played, enjoying what truly mattered in life.

My Cali mamaji also took the podium to share his love. He talked about the last time mamaji visited him in San Francisco. My Cali mamaji, Cali mamiji, and their son accompanied mamaji around the town. They rode the trolly, checked out Ghirardelli Square, and shared laughter and love as they explored the city. My mamaji chocked up, saying he never thought that would be the last time he got to spend time with his beloved brother.

At one point, my mom and my masiji went up together to speak. Listening to them both share stories as well as their love for mamji invited a deep sadness. Yet within minutes that sadness revealed its true form. Hearing them relay the joys of mamaji’s life uncovered the love at the source of the sadness.

My mom told us all how each year, both of her brothers would call her on her birthday after living in different places. This year was different though, she explained. She received a text from my mamaji in California, who’s become the technologically advanced one of the siblings. Yet there was no call from her older brother. Over the next two days, she wondered why he didn’t call. She felt sad and missed him. On the third day at the hospital for work, someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around to find mamaji there with a bouquet of flowers and his signature squinting grin. She told us how blessed she felt that this year, right before his passing, she received flowers from her brother on her birthday.

It was a wonderful way to finish the weekend. Often in the Sikh community, stoicism is preferred. One might hear us urging each other to be strong, to not cry. Yet I believe true strength lies in recognizing our emotions, treating them as old friends, and listening to the story they have for us. It felt beautiful to mourn over the immense loss together through the week. It felt beautiful to be there for and hold each other. Finally, it felt beautiful to celebrate the life mamaji lived, with the many souls he touched.

Another picture of the family, with mamaji to the right in the red turban, joyous as usual.

Passing of the Sun

I don’t really believe much in making excuses. There’s no excuse for my absence from blogging, but I feel an explanation is in order (it could just be me disguising an excuse, but I’ll take the risk).

A day into spring break, on March 10th, I received a text. My sister informed me that my mom’s brother (mamaji) had a heart attack while on vacation in LA. I failed to appreciate the severity of the situation until later that night when I found out he was in cardiac arrest, and it wasn’t looking good.

It hit me Sunday. Sitting in a crowded cafe, I thought of my family. I thought of my cousins. Our family had been affected by some infighting, and as a result I failed to reach out to or spend time with my mamaji the past few years, even though we lived 20 minutes away from each other. I thought of what I was grateful for, when suddenly I wanted to see my family more than anything else. I decided to go to LA.

I arrived Monday night. I saw my cousins, a few family friends, and my own parents. My mamaji from California and masiji (mom’s sister) were there as well, both with their spouses. We saw my mamaji, who was unconscious, and then left the hospital to get some sleep.

The next day, the situation worsened. He was coded multiple times, meaning his vital signs dropped. CPR teams resuscitated him. Over the hours, his heart weakened. Soon it beat at only 10%, the rest shouldered by machines.

My cousins, both young men, and my mamiji (my mamaji’s wife) walked through the long hall from the visiting room to my mamaji’s room. As the morning churned on, the trips became harder and harder. At one point, Gagan, the younger one broke down on his walk back. A sadness fell upon us all there like a blanket. We felt what was to come. None of us wanted to admit it.

I stood next to my mamaji from California. He’s originally from India. He learned to text while here. I watched as he tried to text his kids about the situation. Both my mamaji’s have infectious smiles. In fact, all four of the siblings brighten up any room they enter. You can count on my mom, masiji, and both mamajis to be the life of any party they’re at. It made it that much harder to see my mamaji then, trying to text, as his emotions crept up. First, he sniffled a little bit. I saw a tear roll down his cheek. The sniffles came more and more often, as tears began to flow down his cheeks. He held it in, but his eyes and sobs betrayed his otherwise stoic appearance. It hits the most when you see the happiest people you know struck by sadness and grief.

The family decided to take my mamaji off of life support. The cries echoed through the hall as they staggered back to the visiting room. We cried and cried. We held onto each other and cried, mourning the loss of the sun in our lives.

From left to right: mamiji (Cali), mamaji (Cali), Cousin in pink (masiji's daughter), masiji in blue, mamaji (who passed), mamiji

One thing I take away from his passing is that we all must remember that our time is short. Death is the one destination we all share. So let’s love each other while we’re on this journey.

Nature’s Gift

A few weeks ago, I had an in-depth conversation with a good friend of mine. We stood near a pit filled with glowing embers from a warm campfire. Enormous, majestic trees stood on all sides of the camp site. The din of campers enjoying each others’ company rose above the crackling of the dying embers. Up above, millions of stars glistened and twinkled brightly against the dark expanse of space. The scene was set for invigorating conversation.

My friend takes a huge interest in computers and technology. Everytime we speak, I find myself amazed by what advances have been made. He’s up on all the TED videos, into programming, and his excitement for the future of technology is clear from his animated and fast-moving lips. Yes, I look at his lips a lot when we talk.

So we got to talking about technology and the direction the human race is headed. The conversation started off by talking about Ishmael. Great book.

As we took off with the conversation, I began by asking how long we humans can really keep up this rouse. This rouse where we take limited resources as if they were unlimited. I asked how we could imagine living in a world we we pollute and trash wherever we can. Great garbage patches swirl through the earth’s oceans, and many of the deep waters are over-fished. Animals and insects go extinct each month as we create more food for ourselves. Seem too outrageous? Maybe, until we consider that swaths of the Amazon rainforest are cut down to make grain to feed cows which serve as meat for us to consume.

So in his response, he mentioned that we as humans will find a way. We have in the past, and will again. He had some good points. With the use of technology, we’re able to accomplish so much more utilizing less and less. He pointed a single finger towards the vast expanse above and asked if we could ever utilize all the resources out there. He’s right, I thought.

Yet something felt off. I mentioned that to make the technology, it takes more and more resources. In the iPhone, the production of each individual phone utilizes hundreds of pounds of CO2 emissions. With each new release, Apple fan people throw out the old in anticipation of the new.

So my friend turned again to technology. We’re on the brink of developing systems to combat this destruction. One of the exciting new developments includes vacuums to filter out the CO2 in the air and alter it’s chemical state or put it back into the ground.

Then it hit me. I looked around. The trees swayed gently in the breeze, ancient and wise.

The trees already filter the air. They turn CO2 into oxygen. Then they reproduce. They provide homes for birds, insects and other wildlife. When a trees passes, it falls and the forest decomposes it, utilizing the nutrients for more life. Nature has all of the solutions we search for.

Things began to clear for both of us. We, as a race, tend to work for solutions to the problems we create by using our hands. We use our hands to research technology to battle greenhouse emissions for instance. Yet, what if what we need is to take our hands off and back up a little bit?

I propose that we each find one way we can scale back. As Bruce Lee once said, “Simplicity is the key to brilliance.”

Tomorrow, how about we try sitting down for 5 minutes and write down a few ways we can do so? For example, I could stop eating meat for a day each week, take a fork and spoon from home to save plastic trash, or buy a water bottle. Pick one and act on it. Feel free to let me know how it goes, and as always, thank you so much for reading.

Conscious Action Network

I found this website promoting conscious, loving action around the world.

To me, their work rings true. It’s not simply about a few people in the ’1st world’ helping those poor souls in the ’3rd world’. It’s about human connection. It’s about everyone taking action to make a difference. It’s about service in its truest form.

I support their work. Check them out at their website.

How do you take conscious action in your daily life? What’s one small thing you do with regularity that creates positive change, no matter how big or small?

Week in Review, March 11th, 2012

This past week has been filled with ups and downs. I have not put in effort towards the business or the Sikh student group. I have had a few conversations, and enjoyed time with people who I haven’t spent time with before.

People

I got to spend time with some Desi’s (people with cultural ties to India or of Indian Origin) from the law school that I haven’t spent time with before. We went to eat dosa’s, and spent time laughing and enjoying each others’ company. My friends had started the SALSA (South Asian Law Student Association) this year. They urged me to consider working with SALSA as an umbrella org to promote Sikh awareness.

It’s a thought, but my vision for SLS (Sikh Law Society) is an activist organization, promoting Sikh values to instill more activism within the global legal community. We’ll see how it pans out.

Volunteering

The smile of service

I also got a chance to do food packing volunteering  for 2 hours with Meditation Club members and other kind, giving souls. Doing selfless service in the company of others with the same giving spirit is so inspiring and brings me so much joy. I felt touched and motivated to explore my vision. I felt clear-headed and full of grace.

During the work, a close friend and I talked about our spiritual journeys, and how we ended up where we are today. I cherished the opportunity to learn more about someone I care deeply for. We also talked about working on bigger projects we might have. He mentioned that spending 30 min a day towards a project is fairly easily, and results in huge strides towards realizing our respective visions. It hit me that I really need to put more into my vision each day. That’s starting today.

Lessons

While I haven’t done too much this past week, I learned that it’s ok and often necessary to take time off to rest. I dedicated fully to doing nothing on Friday. I watched a movie, cleaned a little bit, read and wrote. It felt good to release, and I’m ready and energized to do the things I need to do. There’s no need to fear rest.

Another thing I realized talking to my mom yesterday is that fear and happiness are both necessary to do what we need to do. She talked about taking care of patients in the hospital who lost their legs to diabetes. So often we hide from the Truth of our actions, from what might result from our daily choices. Yet, it’s sometimes necessary to see how much diabetes can destroy our lives when we neglect our daily health. Exercise, a good, healthy diet, vitamins, all these things help us live long, happy lives.

Having the fear of death along with the excitement of a healthy life, realizing our full potential, can jolt us into action. Thinking about it more deeply, I realized that fear and excitement, when pushing us into discomfort, are good. Fear and excitement, when pushing us to comfort, is bad (like fear of meeting new people, excitement of playing video games, etc.). Essentially, when we seek out discomfort, we grow. When we grow, we can look back on a life well lived.

Your Turn

That’s all I’ve got for today.

I’m curious though, do you agree that seeking out discomfort is necessary for a life well lived? Why or why not?

Where are you headed?

Because it matters more than where you are now.

If I’m preparing for a big fight, it doesn’t matter that I’ve been for the past week. It doesn’t matter that I can touch my toes while stretching. It doesn’t matter that I can lift xyz pounds. What matters is that I need to be ready to win when my fight comes. I’m headed towards that win, and all the small successes I’ve had pale in comparison to where I need to be. It keeps going until I’ve won the fight.

When blogging, it doesn’t matter that I’ve kept up for 20 days. It doesn’t matter that I’ve missed a lot of days recently. What matters is that I’m focusing on keeping up the practice. What matters is posting right now. What matters is that I get ready for days ahead when I feel like skipping by preparing draft posts.

It’s tempting to stop and look at the progress we’ve made in whatever endeavor we’re undertaking. It’s important to do so, to see what our next step is. The danger is allowing those small successes lull us into comfort and inaction.

We must remember our destination. We must remember our vision of where we’re headed. It help keep us on track, and encourages us to keep moving forward when we might otherwise be induced to come to a halt. With any project, endeavor, and with your life, ask, “what’s my potential”?

Another lesson I took from this was to focus on seeking out discomfort.

What’s an example from your own life of focusing on the end goal over getting complacent?

The importance of taking action

There’s so much information out there. We could go days reading and reading. Yet what good is the information we digest is we don’t act on it?

This is a central theme to my posts now. I will ask/suggest an action. Together we need to take it. Reading something and taking an action, even if it’s something as small as reflecting on what we learned or to have a conversation with someone will eventually make a huge difference.

Now I struggle with this as well. That’s why we’re going through the process together.